Standing at the Edge
By Sydney Salt
As the end of the year draws near and I sit in the knowing that I am indeed letting go of my identity in the world as counselor and healer, I feel a myriad of feelings - sadness, anger, frustration, relief, anticipation and quiet calm. I am aware that I am watching the death of an age-old belief deep in the bones of my being that I, as woman, have not truly had the value or respect in the culture as that of man. My innate qualities and skills are born out of cellular knowing, deep compassion, respect and acceptance for all expressions of life. From the time of my birth, I knew I didn't 'fit' into an environment where distrust, fear, disrespect and oppression were cultivated, but where in the world could I go, be valued and contribute the best of what and who I am.
Twenty five years ago with the birth of my daughter, I chose to live an alternative life - one filled with Spirit, with ancient memories of my own human evolution and a vast longing to make our world a kinder place for all to live. And I knew I had to do alot of inner work to heal and stabilize this deep desire within my own being. So it seems strange to me to come to a completion point of this twenty-five year cycle of healing that gave my life purpose and passion but it is so!
On my recent trip to China and Tibet, this realization came into full focus. One of the most significant experiences was to feel at the core level that all the 'religions of man' I had studied over the years did not fit my woman experience of what it means to be divine. As a woman, my emotional and physical responses to life were not considered 'holy' or 'whole'. In China I glimpsed a complex civilization which held in its long history, a deeply embedded labyrinth of oppression and liberation. It gave me the opportunity to view my own life labyrinth where I experienced oppression from my tightly held beliefs as well as those imposed on me by my family, religion and the Australian culture I grew up in.
Perhaps the most lasting of these beliefs was that as a woman, I was flawed, not deserving of equal treatment and for the most part, had little value except to be a receptacle for other's pleasure, rage or comfort. Growing up in the Christian religion, it was impressed upon me that I was not whole and actually was 'made' from a rib of Adam. Although intellectually, I found this difficult to believe, the effect was deeply implanted in my psyche, that as a female, I was secondary to male - not even my own person. When I was in Tibet, I recognized that I was bearing witness to the oppression of the Tibetan people and their spiritual way of being by the Chinese government. As disturbing as that was, it was a reminder of all those circumstances around the globe where one ideology or doctrine is imposed on another whether in the form of religion, gender, government or culture. That my task was to transcend my own particular oppression and be part of a collective transformation where the human spirit is respected for its contribution to the whole.
As this holiday season progresses, I realize I am facing death as I have never faced it before. The death of what I believed about myself and the true knowledge that, as Tibetan Buddhist teachings show, we are good at the core -that the most harm one person can do to another begins with denigration of oneself. No more! With each breath, I feel my divinity more clearly; that running through my veins is the Earth Herself. Chaotic, ferocious, capricious, gentle, nurturing and life-giving, I celebrate the Divine Feminine in the forms of Mother Mary, Quan Yin, Sekhmet, Hathor and all women and men who have the courage to fully embody their authentic nature and liberate themselves through their compassionate heart to help give birth to a new humanity.
May we all be blessed by your Presence as we enter this next year, Sydney Salt- Sydney@PeaceRooms.com
